Why you should read it

Hello, I am Dario and this is my very first blog post, ever. I apologize in advance for any novice mistake! I am a Computer Engineer with experience in Game and Web Development, and when I was 30 I moved to Toronto from Italy.

Since I started high school, I have been discovering a lot about learning, programming and life in general. Recently, I have read some articles about university life and how to deal with it, what to do and what to avoid, and honestly they usually were just a sterile list of tips. For each tip I read, many memories came back to my mind, but those articles were empty and meaningless for a general public, I thought.

So, I decided to walk through my story with this article, trying to highlight some takeaways from my experience, with the hope of writing something that really reaches people.

I hope you will find this helpful, regardless if you are a student or not! Since it's the story of my life, it's not gonna be short. This will be the first part of a small series.

So, let's start from the beginning!

My childhood

I was born in Sicily, Italy, a land famous for many many reasons (I discovered only later).

I always liked to create experiences when I was a child, I used to improvise some stand up comedy with my cousins. One day I could have been a boxer, the other day I was a salesman, etc. I can still remember my cousin crying for the hard laughs!

I liked to draw, especially comics and manga, and I even created my own cardboard games about Dragon Ball (a terrible mix of Pokemon cards and the Game of the Goose).

I was given my first desktop computer at 12, and I was so excited about it! I need to thank my teacher who convinced my parents to buy me one.

Thank you teacher!

I liked to use my computer, even if I wasn't able to do that much at the beginning (especially with a limited internet connection), but it was a thrilling feeling being seated in front of a window to the world... infinite possibilities! I just needed to figure it out about what.

The first things I tried were video games: The Sims, Age of Empires II (AoE) and Soccer games kept my afternoons very busy. Simulator games were a time sucker, I can still remember the AoE campaigns' epicity, or the countless ways that I discovered to make a sim go crazy!

After a while, I also discovered software like Photoshop or Movie Maker which stimulated my creativity. I started to think: "Wow, this metal box seems powerful!".

High school: first real challenges and first bold life decisions

When I turned 13, I needed to choose my next school. I picked up a demanding high school, with a lot of Math and Latin (something very difficult), but I wanted to do it because my brother did it, and I wanted to prove that I was as good as him.

My parents were not sure about it because in that period I used to play a lot of video games and my school grades were not the best. Eventually, I persuaded them.

During the first year I struggled especially because of Latin, but the situation improved little by little. After a lot of efforts, I was above the class average, and I also managed to take the maximum grade at final year exams. I was so proud of myself!

In your face Mommy and Daddy! (just kidding, I love you <3 )

Soon I realized that life does not end with high school, and that's only the beginning.

A lot of pressures started to arrive during my last year of high school: I needed to choose my way to "jobland", and I was so confused. I was attracted to technology, but I also loved to draw (I just discovered how to draw with a graphic tablet on my computer, it was so cool!).

Engineering on one side, School of Arts on the other.

I knew something about art, and I had been practicing it a lot (since I used to draw and paint since I was 7).

On the other hand, I knew almost nothing about computers, and how they work behind the scenes. However, I wanted to discover and master "the software to make other software".

I had no idea what a programming language was.

I was curious, I was eager to know.

So, what did I choose after high school? Well, the title of this post is a bit of a spoiler: Computer Engineering.

Curiosity won in the end. I liked Math and I was bewitched by Tech, so I gave it a try.

University: a tough start

Premise: this blog series does not have the goal of judging a specific university, or their general system. Each university has its good and "less good" professors. A student can only hope to find more of those that belong to the first category.

The summer after my high school was ending: it was time to grow up, to move to another city, to live without mom, to prepare my meals on my own.

Ouch!

Lectures started, and I immediately realized that Computer Engineering was a wild jungle.

Professors used to discourage students all the time by telling us stuff like "Can you see your fellows beside you? Well, it's very likely only one of you will attend the second year." or like "Engineering is not for everyone: 2/3 of you will quit sooner or later... think about it very carefully and save your parent's money... you can still change program".

I was not sure if these speeches were making me feel more uncomfortable or more scared (not more inspired for sure).

However, my professors were right. The first year was a massacre: a few of us made it and got to the second year (a lot of us changed university program, others were just left behind and had to attend the first year courses again, for the second time).

Computer Engineering was really difficult, or at least it was it for me. Keeping the pace with lectures while enjoying a social life was not that easy. Most of the professors were good, but the amount of theory was huge. Since I like learning by doing, or by examples (like most of us, I guess), this theory approach was exhausting me.

First new Friends!

I met a lot of new people at that time, and some of them are still some of my best friends. But it wasn't that easy. I "forced" myself to be more social than I used to be because I was kind of alone on my courses, and no one from my high school was attending them: I needed some friends.

A lot of my new friends seemed crazy to me at the beginning, but I guess I was appearing crazier to them. My friend Ciccio for sure thought I was not normal when we met the first time.

It was a warm and dark evening in September. I used to do the same street of one of the other students (Ciccio, indeed), and that was the 5th time that I saw him ahead of me. Long dark hair, hooked nose: "It's him for sure" I thought.

We were on a small bridge, and I started walking quicker to reach him in this dark section of street. Maybe he heard something, but he didn't turn around. So, I stretched out my arm to tap on his shoulder...

It scared the shit out of him! When he felt my touch he startled like crazy! “A totally conceivable reaction”, I immediately realized.

"Ehmm... I am sorry... I am Dario, and I saw you in Calculus class this morning, ehmm".

Despite his irritated / surprised face, he kindly answered:

"Oh right, yes, I am Francesco... nice to meet you! See you at the university then!".

Later I started calling him “Ciccio”, which is the shorter name for “Francesco” in Italian.

I guess a lot of other thoughts reached his mind in that moment, like "Fuck off you idiot! What the heck of an approach was that?!".

Ciccio was one of my first friends at the University, and he is still now one of my best friends. When he wants to shame me, he does not lose the opportunity to tell everybody how we met, highlighting how creepy I can be.

Thank you Ciccio.

I guess this was included with the "All Included Friendship" package.

Despite the amount of efforts required by Computer Engineering, I managed to spend one or two nights per week having fun with my new mates, and Catania had a lot to offer to us.

Certain experiences are likely to happen only when you are a student.

Like that time when I (partially) destroyed the Ciccio's office chair just to imitate an action shooting scene, and trying to throw a couple of Kleenex's packages at him and another friend of ours.

In my mind the scene was cool! I should have entered the room and surprise them! The reality was slightly different... I didn't calculate the "parabolic trajectory" of mine towards the floor (chair included). Ciccio had to keep using that creaking chair for the following 4 years of university.

You are welcome, Ciccio. "All Included Friendship" package, remember?

Takeaway: less Netflix, less Instagram, less video games, more social time with friends, more real bonds, the ones that will last for a lifetime. You will not regret it, I promise :)

Struggle after struggle

Back to the hard stuff: Calculus, Physics, English, Algebra and Geometry were my first semester courses.

Like many other students, I dropped Calculus at the end of November: it was too tough!

I needed support for the other subjects, so I arranged several meetings with my Algebra professor, who kindly helped me every time I asked : it meant the world to me!

Thank you prof!

On the other hand, it was not the same story with the Physics professor… who was a bit of a bitch! After I asked some novice questions, he answered me "If this is the level of your questions, maybe it's better to switch to Humanistic Studies".

Thank you, prof...

Maybe he was right, and maybe I just had to get better prepared before asking him for help. I wasn’t sure about that, but it didn’t sound totally correct to me. Only after some years I realized that his answer was totally wrong and completely unhelpful: shame on professors like these. It's too easy to daunt students instead of giving them some constructive feedback.

It's likely you will meet some professor like this, especially at university (which is more an "elite place" than the average college in North America). If that happens, ignore them, and never give up if you really believe in something.

Takeaway: understand when you are in need, look for help, look for a mentor. Sometimes, we can't just make it on our own. Of course, try to stress a bit yourself before asking for help and bugging other people, otherwise you could appear like a lazy incompetent. And also: Do not listen to those who just let you down instead of giving you constructive feedback.

I was behind schedule for a lot of stuff, and I was a bit depressed. However, I decided to keep going, especially with Algebra.

During the lectures, I kept creating new bonds and I started studying with some of the new friends, like Alfio. He is a very smart guy (that kind of guy who immediately understands things, which is one of the skills I appreciate the most).

We had a lot of fun doing Algebra exercises together: little by little, we became very knowledgeable about it, and soon a lot of our comrades were already relying on us!

I found it fun explaining stuff to the others, and it also helped me to realize when I had some gap in knowledge.

Something was changing in my University experience. I was changing. I was adapting.

Takeaway: sharing your knowledge is an amazing thing, for both you and who listens to you. The profit for the others is obvious, but why is it useful for you too? Because it's the perfect occasion to consolidate your knowledge. The best way to learn something is when you have to teach that topic to others. In the end, you are making a difference, and people will appreciate your efforts.

Just one warning: please avoid fat lazy bastards that want only to leech and exploit your knowledge and nothing else, and understand who deserves you and your time and who does not: it's not easy, but you need to learn how to do it.

Conclusion (part 1)

Exams were coming, so I started to learn the "jungle rules".

What was going to happen next? You will discover it with the second part of the series!

If you made it so far, you have my immense gratitude! Here I shared with you a lot of facts about my life.

I tried to highlight how much important is to:

• Find a good balance between study and a social life, which does not mean just disco floor, drinking, etc, but making real bonds with people. Being friends means sharing experience and reciprocal support, which is fundamental not only in university but also in life.
• Stress enough yourself about whatever topic, but if you still struggle with it after a while, understand when it's time to look for help!
• Be generous. Be a "giver". Helping other people and giving them some of your time and knowledge is a good thing for many reasons.

Do you agree with my takeaways? Have you ever experienced something similar? If so, please let me know! I am curious about how other people lived their studies' experiences.

I hope you enjoyed the reading, see you next time!